Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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