They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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