i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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