If i could tip my vagina, i would.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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