its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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