you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
