I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
