normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
