don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
