I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Holy shit dude........stairs
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
