before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
