What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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