carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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