Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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