At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
