If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
