You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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