god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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