we're blogging at a bar
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
