I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize