so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He felt like a one man threesome
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
