I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
