I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
