I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
