Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
