When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
