It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
