don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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