ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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