Cold hands, warm shart.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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