Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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