You can't special order awesome
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
