I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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