Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
