when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
