Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The beer is more important than you right now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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