when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Found your dick twin last night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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