I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
