i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
