:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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