I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
