Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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