There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
