Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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