Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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