i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.