if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
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She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing