A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.