Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
bring money and cleavage
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
