Jerry, you need to find god
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
