so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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