Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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