just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
