we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
