Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Floor bacon is actually really good
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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