I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
