Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
