I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
