ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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