I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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