I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I have post one night stand depression
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
