I'm drive I can fine osifer
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
