I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
