Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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