Define "chronic" masturbator.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
