I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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